In the coming weeks and months, I would like to start sharing some of the greatest moments from my days working at Larry and Carol's Pizza in Greensburg, PA. I was there for about 6 years, and while very unproductive, I don't know if I have ever had more fun. L&C was a small place, privately owned. It was populated with some of the strangest, yet most interesting people I have ever met.
The owner, Mr. J, was a great guy. I really liked Mr. J and he is the main reason I stayed as long as I did. The day he shut the doors for the last time was one of the saddest of my life. He was a huge Pittsburgh Penguins fan. The funny thing about Mr. J. was how much he looked like a pizza shop owner. Perfect grey hair, and a grey beard. He couldn't have looked more Italian if he tattooed a cannoli to his forehead. Only problem is, he wasn't Italian; he was French.
Then there was the young married couple, Mr. and Mrs. C, who never left each others side. Mr. C was extremely knowledgeable on football and rap music, and Mrs. C scared the hell out of me. Mr. C was a pretty funny guy. He was great at hurtful insults. He also had good comedic timing. He did tend to complain a lot, but at L&C that was pretty much a universal skill.
There was long time cook Mr. Peppercorn. Mr. Peppercorn was another great insult artist. He also was probably the best storyteller of the L&C crew. Mr. Peppercorn was a fun loving party guy in his late 30's. To me, his greatest line of all time was in reference to another employee who owned a hot tub(Dan). He said "I wouldn't get in that hot tub if I was on fire. I would run right past it and hope the neighbors had a swimming pool."
Mr. D was a mainstay of L&C. He looked like a cross between a mechanic and one of the Super Mario Brothers. Mr. D was known for his flannels, his Doral cigarettes, and his AMC Eagles. Mr. D scared a lot of people who thought he might be crazy. Deep down though, Mr. D was just a sweetheart who only wanted people to think he was crazy. Or he was crazy, I don't know. Mr. D did give me my 2 black cats, and for that I am forever grateful.
There was Ms. N. She was a 30 something woman, with a bit of a "reputation". She had worked there before I started, and I heard many unflattering stories about her. She came back to L&C after I had been there a few years. From the stories I heard, I expected a monster to walk through the doors. Turns out Ms N was adorable. She was always great to me, and I even heard second hand that she stepped up and protected me from an evil succubus one time. It goes to show that you can't judge a book by it's cover. Either that, or I never read the book because I couldn't stop looking at the cover, one of the two.
That was just a quick intro to a few of the L&C players. I left a few out, but will introduce you to them as needed.
Now its time to meet the team's superstar. His name is Dan. Dan is the funniest person I have ever met. He looks remarkably like Trey Parker, the co-creator of South Park. And, he is just as twistedly clever too. The reason I call Dan a superstar is because almost every funny story I have from the L&C days involves him. I have seen him write hilariously brutal songs that can crush a persons soul, off the top of his head. He has crafted devious ways to mess with people that would make Johnny Knoxville blush. On top of that, Dan is a very interesting guy. He knows just about everything there is to know about US Presidents. In fact, I learned from Dan that Ronald Reagan was the first person elected President of the United States after being the head of a union. He also knows more about sports than anyone I know. If Dan says something about an offensive lineman from the 60's, I know I can steal that fact without looking stupid. Anyone with a true appreciation of comedy would respect the demented mind of Dan.
Stay tuned for more from the world of Larry and Carol's Pizza. A few things I will be covering in future episodes: Dan getting caught with his pants down, Comedian Steven Wright's visit to L&C, Mr D's war, The Lottery Winner, and much more.
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