The Key To Fantasy Football Success...Mediocre Backups

I know you are going to see my title and think I am crazy. But the number one killer in fantasy football is starting the wrong player when you have a tough decision. I can not count the number of times I have lost because I had three good running backs, and I benched the wrong guy. It happens all the time. I much prefer having two every week starters, and one bye week plug in. The two positions where this comes into play the most are quarterback and defense. Those are the positions where two fairly equal players will lead to a match-up based sit/start decision every week. I have adopted the strategy of not trying to play match-ups at those positions, and just sticking with the same starter every week. The NFL is so unpredictable that playing a weekly guessing game will lead to many incorrect decisions throughout the course of a season. Most of the time a mistake will not affect the outcome of a game, but when it does, it really stings. I have actually lost two very close championship games in the last six years by picking the wrong running back five minutes before kickoff. (Continued Below...)



Now, I am not suggesting you should ever pass on the best player available during a fantasy football draft. This situation I am describing is unlikely to play out early in the season. The odds of drafting a third or fourth running back/wide receiver that is superstar quality right out of the gate is very rare. You would have to be in a league of extraordinarily inexperienced fantasy players for that to occur. More likely one of your drafted sleepers, or an early season pick-up will blossom into a legitimate number one guy midway through the season. When this happens you are suddenly faced with a weekly dilemma. If you have made it through the byes at running back or wide receiver, and have a tough choice every week, I say trade for value. Why have a top running back/wide receiver sitting the bench every week just in case one of your other players goes down? If your running backs are this strong, then you are likely to have a deficit at some other position. Why not trade the running back with the highest value and maximize the return at wide receiver, tight end or quarterback?

I realize that the main argument against this strategy is the potential for injury. But I am more of a believer in back-up handcuffing than benching a legitimate starter. I also realize that most people will wholeheartedly disagree with my strategy. Call it amateurish, but it does reduce the headaches that accompany watching your top running back put up 15 yards against the Lions, while someone just as good is on the bench and goes for 150 and a TD against the Steelers.

Fantasy Football...Naming Your Team Properly

The NFL Preseason is underway. That means fantasy football is almost here. Everywhere you look, experts are speculating on who should go number one and who might be great late round sleeper picks. I read all the advice, and every year the experts could not be more wrong. So, since I am the furthest thing from a fantasy guru, you won't be getting any of that here. My expertise lies in the realm of funny and clever team names.

(It should be noted that most of my example names won't be as funny as they could be. I am trying to keep this article somewhat clean, and most of my true gems have been very vulgar and offensive.)

One thing that bothers me every year are the mundane, uninspired names that people manage to come up with for their fantasy teams. Every league I am in has an "Eagles Rule", or a "Bill's Bears". Invariably, at least one person will take their favorite team's name and replace the "S" at the end with a "Z". In fact, this year alone I will be facing off against the "Raiderz" and the "Cowboyz". Rarely will I stumble across someone with a creative bone in their body. I am here to help you strategize on the best possible name for your team. Lets go over a few categories that you can choose from to spice up your fantasy team.

Double Entendre

Football is ripe with all sorts of possible double entendres to choose from. Football has tight ends, balls, encroachment, illegal touching, and many more. Any one of these can be a hidden gem just waiting to be unearthed. If you are in a league with friends, just pick one person to insult and add a football term to his name. In fact, go after the guy who named his team "Bill's Bears". I recommend something like "Bill Loves Illegal Touching", or "Bill Wants A Man In Motion".

Insult Someone Elses Team Name Directly

If innuendo isn't your cup of tea, just go straight for the jugular and insult someones team name directly. This technique is great for stoking rivalries later on in the season. In this scenario, let everyone else name their team first. Then, pick the name that annoys you the most, and trash it via your team name. For example, what can we do with poor Bill and his stupid Bears? The obvious choice is "Bill's Bears Suck". This may be just as uncreative as Bill's original name, but at least it drives the point home how much you hate his name. Another possibility is just going with "I Hate Bill". I personally like this one the best. It has a bit of harsh, right to the point charm to it.

On a personal note, my all time favorite team name could fall into this category. Last season I was in a league with some friends. One member of the league started off 0-5. In his frustration, he changed his team name to: "My Team Blows Chunks". Upon seeing this, I immediately changed my team's name to: "Chunks". I will just let that one sit there, and if you get it, great.

Insult Athletes or Celebrities

Athletes and Celebrities are great fodder for team names. Everyday a story hits the internet that makes some famous person look like a giant asshole. Here are a few examples from my past:

Tiger Woods: "Tiger Roids"

Rex Ryan: "Rex Ryan Tummy Tuck"

Ben Rothlisberger: The year after his motorcycle accident I went with "Ben Crashlisberger". The year after his legal troubles I went with a very similar name that I will keep to myself.

Paris Hilton: "Paris Hilton is a..." Fill in the blank. I have used a few celebrities with this template.

In conclusion, I am not expecting everyone to be Richard Pryor when they name their teams. It would be nice however, if people took a few extra minutes to make their names somewhat interesting. After all, we do have to stare at it for the entire season.